The Secret of the Trees (written Fall, 1998)

I sit here in a sober trance looking at the early October trees.  They are trees I have gazed upon in wonder many times before but now, at this moment, they are showing me more than I usually see.  They are mocking me today and each time the autumn breeze caresses their limbs, they seem to sway in their own laughter.  They are laughing at me in a way that suggests they know something that I don’t.  But a descending leaf of green, invaded by splashes of red, begins to speak to me loud and clear and within the short span of time it takes for a leaf to make its journey from branch to soil, the “secret of the trees” unfolds before my eyes.

How can it be that in all of this time I have never seen this obvious reflection?  How could I have missed the ever-so-blunt comparison between the natural cycle of a tree and the intentions God has for human existence?  But there they stand – autumn trees – in the middle of a journey that every soul will take as well…the journey of transformation.  Nothing changes overnight and, like the trees, there must come a time for every searching spirit when there is more darkness than light, for it is what unfolds in the darkness that gives true color to all things.

Once we have the courage to face the darkness and we can see for ourselves how our sins and our suffering are transformed into beauty, we are then able to accept them and we begin to let go.  But friends, I can assure you that letting go of pain and past trespasses is not as natural nor as easy a process as the leaves that fall gracefully to the ground.  I have often found myself raking up piles of my fallen past only to hump them right back over my shoulder, repossessing my heavy load.  So I just let them fall again and again, however many times it may take, until I finally learn.  And, in time, I am able to shake them off for good and they become rich soil that can be given away for the good and the growth of others.

But the hardest part is still yet to come.  The transformation from idle existence to darkness,  to colorful beauty brings us to another place that makes us plead for mercy and courage.  We come to the place where we must stand naked before the world in the same way a tree stands naked before us in the purifying process of winter.  This is the place where we face the cold chill of rejection and loss.  This is the place where we learn humility and what it means to stand before God and your fellow man with no means of hiding your flaws, your negative thoughts, your fears, your tears, your vulnerability, your emptiness, your wants, your rage, your greatness, your lack of faith and your need to hide the fact that you are not perfect.

But despite the terrifying unsightliness that may lie underneath your “leaves of protection”, one has never seen more beauty in you and more proof that God dwells within your heart as when you stand with no shame in spiritual nakedness.