How Much We Need The Needy

Mary had only been home from the hospital for a few days and was still settling back into her nursing home apartment. It was her birthday and I was on my way up to her room to give her the standard card and balloon that the facility provides for all of our residents on their birthdays.  It was the first thing on my “to do” list and I had a particularly busy day ahead of me.  As I walked into her room, I could tell right away that the last thing she needed was some happy idiot singing the birthday song loudly and shamefully off key.  Instead, I decided to give her a more low-key birthday greeting.

After I presented her the balloon and card and placed them where she requested, I started on my way out her door saying “Have a wonderful birthday, Mary”.  As I started across the hall towards the stairway, eager to begin chipping away at the next rock on my mountain of tasks, I heard Mary’s faint voice reply “I don’t want any more birthdays.”  I felt my heart sink, but my feet were still moving as if they hadn’t heard a thing.  When I reached the stairway, something stopped me cold.  “What are you doing?” was the beginning of my inner monologue.  “This woman is reaching out in desperation.  She has just told you that she has no desire to see another birthday and you are just going to walk away from that?”  I stood there at the top of the steps, wavering.  I tried to reason with myself “Hey, I can’t be there for everyone!  I’m only one person and I have so much work to be done.”  Then came the hard-hitting question…”Define your work.  What is your mission here?  Is it paperwork?  Is it passing out balloons?”  Another attempt to put my petty tasks before a hurting woman’s needs was not necessary and I started back toward her room. 

I reentered her room with arms wide open and asked if I could give her a hug.  She happily accepted and I could see Hope returning in her voice.  I sat down next to her bed and asked her why she made the comment about not wanting another birthday.  She began to tell me of her woes, her aches and pains, her loneliness and her confusion about God’s plans for her.  I held her hand as she unloaded her troubles.  It occurred to me that this woman just desperately needed to be heard and understood and I almost missed the opportunity to be there for her.   Now as she sat up in bed, crying and letting it all out, I could clearly see that I was being rewarded – we were having a tender moment together – this was the kind of connection that both of us had been hungering for. 

For a brief moment, I beamed in the certainty that I had made the right choice that day and the experience itself had rewarded me, but the pain of the real lesson in this moment was just about to strike.  As I leaned over to give Mary another hug, she squeezed my arms with love and appreciation and said “I wish there were more people like you in the world.  Why can’t there be more people like you?”  She had such sincerity in her eyes and all my eyes had to offer back were tears of shame.  I said my goodbyes as quickly as possible, gave her another hug and I was gone.  I had to get out of there for fear of disappointing her with the truth.  The truth is that I didn’t have the guts to tell her the truth;  that just minutes before, this person she suddenly thought so  highly of stood at the top of the steps selfishly trying to place priority on her own small world of paperwork and everyday tasks while a woman cried out for a moment’s relief from her everyday realities of loneliness, sorrow, agony and misunderstanding.  I didn’t have the guts to tell her that there have been others who didn’t make “the cut” and that it could have just as easily been her – she wouldn’t have wished for more like me if she had known that.

I didn’t know how to tell her all of that and how everyone wants to be able to be there for those in need, but most of the time, we just don’t know how.

The truth is…we all need each other desperately and around every corner,  God has provided us with an abundance of opportunities to reach out and, not only help someone, but love someone.  We may not always notice it as an opportunity, but when we do, it is in everyone’s best interest (especially our own) that we take heed and follow what our hearts are telling us.

One never knows what kind of unexpected blessings are wrapped inside of those opportunities.  It could be a valuable lesson that turns into an on-going gift, such as the one I received from Mary on that day.  That was years ago and Mary no longer celebrates any birthdays on this earth…but I still celebrate the gift she left behind for me.  It was not a fair exchange.  I gave her a balloon and a card and she gave me a lesson in life and love that will stay with me always.

 May 2013 find us all embracing the endless opportunities to love and bless others (and ourselves).