Dancing With My Purpose

Even though I am a sensitive and emotional creature, I would not have expected to leave a 25-minute dolphin show at Sea World with ambivalent tears filling my eyes.  It just didn’t seem to fit the commercial spectacle that enters my mind when I think of Disney and all that engulfs its grandeur.   I was expecting a few thrilling dolphin tricks and cheeky drama peppered with corny jokes.  But I walked away from my seat with a more pronounced presence of some of life’s most quiet, yet glorious triumphs and my deepest longings, some of which will serve a life sentence in my body as such.  

The show was presented as a story, told with song and dance.  I watched the dancers move with grace as they performed in and out of the water.  Some of the dancers were dressed as beautiful birds and were attached to cables that allowed them to blow through the air with such finesse that one might briefly forget that humans were not made to fly.  They did things that didn’t seem possible and I kept thinking what a unique and wonderful job they have.  Not every person can say that they dance with and ride dolphins or do acrobats and fly through the air several times a day for a living!  You know that whoever does that job didn’t just stumble upon that.  They are doing what they were meant to do with reckless abandon.  That brought me comfort to see people doing what they love and it gave me hope that my daughters will always follow their hearts with the careers they choose, knowing that if they trust their purpose and their gifts, everything else will fall into place.  

I know the prison of wasting God-given gifts on a job that doesn’t fit those gifts.  I also know the freedom of walking away from such a job and the safety net it provided and not looking back.  Years ago, I took a leap of faith from a secure job at a time when I most needed the money and security of that job and traded it for an inferior salary.  But what I got in return was a confirmation that I was meant to bring encouragement and hope in the dark and lonely places of this world - and there will never be a shortage of dark and lonely places.  That leap of faith brought me face to face with my true purpose in life and reunited me with some of my deepest passions:  people, creativity, writing and so much more.  I will never be the same after being placed in nursing homes environments to plan parties, do exercise programs, go on outings and leisure rides, listen to amazing stories that bathed me in humility and so much more.  I made many lifelong friends and even though most of them have passed on, I carry them with me and am a better person for having known them.

I had no idea at the time how much I would be changed and affected by that one decision.  It wasn’t just the job itself that changed me.  It also changed my relationship with God.  He found me in a desperate moment and gave me an opportunity to change my circumstances but it was not going to come without a risk.  By the world’s standards, it made no sense at all to take that job and its enormous pay cut.  His timing was perfect because He knew that I would not take that leap unless I had become so miserable that the risk would be worth the consequences.  The only thing He required of me was that I trust Him and His plan for me - He took care of the rest and exceeded my expectations.  I learned through that experience that He will never lead me in the wrong direction and that He wants the best for His children.  I also learned that we are often clueless as to what “the best for us” even means because we measure  it by meaningless piles of dust that will one day be blown away and forgotten.  I want to follow a plan that has meaning and that bears spiritual fruit that lasts forever.  

The current season I am in has found me at yet another crossroads in life and, true to my nature, misery and inadequacy are creeping in to entice me toward the road less traveled.  My Father knows me so well!  He knows I’m a coward and that it will take more than simple trust to get me to move.  I am like an Israelite, too busy whining about having to eat Manna in the desert to remember that I was once a slave, rescued and delivered from captivity and I am now free.  That path is calling in the same way the colorful birds, dancers and dolphins in that theme park show were calling me.  I watched them all doing the things they were made to do - some were flying, some were swimming, some were dancing and together they brought it all to life and sent it out into the world to penetrate hearts like mine.  

I had been dancing with my purpose for a while but somewhere along the way, I could not hear life’s music and I lost its lead.  When I saw those beautiful birds flying all around me like a winged ballet, I heard the music and heard my purpose calling:  “Come, take my hand again and dance with me.  No matter what song life plays - whether sad, joyful, sultry, full of rage or worship, I will lead you through each and every one.  Stay close to me.  Follow me.”